21 mars 2008

Um betra sjónvarp en The Wire

You know what, DavidSimonCreatorOfTheWire? I just read the five-thousandth interview with you and enough. And you know what I'm going to do? I'm going to create a TV series myself and my show is going to last five MILLION seasons and it is going to BLOW YOUR MIND. It's going to be set in even worse parts of Baltimore, maybe in the sewers, and it will show HBO viewers not just the “Other America” but the Other Other OTHER America. The America that's so other that the Other America will watch one episode and say, what the fuck? How amazing is it that he is paid well to show us this despair? Get us our laurel wreath because it's crownin' time. I'm talking about a Baltimore where befanged mutants communicate using chemical pheromones through their antenna-like tails and the police, who are hybridized genetic half-leopards, half-humans, but all po-lice, actually chop up and smoke the criminals like drugs before they go on killing sprees, and everyone travels by blimp. I'm talking about Towson.

No—wait, even better, my series won't go back to Aeschylus and Sophocles for inspiration. That's week-kneed amateur bullshit when it comes to historic dramatic influences. I'll use cave paintings as the model for my series. Omar will chase mammoths through the streets and Carcetti will wear a robe made from a wolf and Beadie will chew bear meat for her children before passing it from her mouth. And everyone will speak proto-Indoeuropean without subtitles and the hidden cultural theme that no one sees will be land-bridge migration and phenotype variation. I'll have a character who is the world's first cave painter except all of his paintings will be lies and any character who says, hey wait, that's just an image of elk, so what? gets demoted back to firetender. And then I won't let anybody watch the show because they don't deserve it, and when journalists interview me I'll cut them with a special journalist-cutting knife that I invented and which they CAN NEVER TRULY EVEN HOPE TO UNDERSTAND.

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