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YOUNGSTOWN, OH—Jason Baumer, a fancy little gent who is apparently too good to enjoy a regular cup of coffee, drank a cup of tea Sunday.

The fancy man rests a placemat beneath the precious tea to protect his beautiful table from any errant drips.

The 29-year-old web designer prepared and consumed his precious tea, which is imported from some la-di-da foreign country, at about 10:30 a.m with the loving attention of a brittle, shawl-wearing spinster.

"I normally have some Earl Grey in the morning," said Baumer, referring to a kind of tea named after a guy who used to run around England in a powdered wig and fruity tights. "Sometimes I have toast [and jam] too. Or just a bowl of cereal when I'm in a rush."

Instead of simply heating a mug of water in the microwave, Baumer used a hoity-toity copper-bottomed tea kettle, which His Lordship reportedly purchased at Pier One Imports in 2003 for the express purpose of tea-making.